Sunday, December 4, 2011

Day 326: Those Glasses Have More Game Than I Do!

Okay, so about this girl. I've known she has existed for sometime. To say I thought she was a looker would be an understatement. In my eyes, she was one stylish cookie, ripe for the ogling and any manner or sordid fantasies that I could devise.

Of course, we shared less words than I have fingers in probably the first three years I was aware of her. Her name wasn't a secret to me, as I moonlight as a professional creeper and like to know the names of pretty girls. Not that I deserved to know it, not having shown the courage to ask her directly, but that's a moot point. I was also aware of where she lived then, and still lives now; even where she worked then as well. Creepy enough? heh....

An air of privacy surrounded her like a thick cloak, and being sensitive to this, I didn't approach her. Perhaps the slightest of nods, but even the both of us being super-regulars didn't embolden me to so much as utter a word to her. Private and shy, even. Snobbish maybe? Perhaps. She did have a certain amount of visible superiority, which she may or may not have been aware of herself.

In an odd turn of events, she sent me the friend request first. She, too, asked me out before I yet had the courage to do the same. Shameful I know, but maybe I had more a hand in it yet. In adding me to her friend's list, she expressed enough of a curiosity that I felt comfortable searching through her photos to get a glimpse into life. Within that activity I found myself leaving comments of compliment; potential "creeper" comments that may have been unwarranted, but knowing now had a hand in prompting her to ask me out. Quite an unintended good move on my part....I think.

Fast forward to the current time frame. We're now officially an item. Getting to know her has become the best thing to happen to me all year, and I'd like to think the feeling is reciprocal. She has these awesome lines that are most visible during a big smile or even more so during a fit of laughter, a laughter I'm very pleased to say I've been able to evoke on more than several occasions. It's good to hear her voice and her laughter.

Not to demean any of my friends mind you, for I love them all. Several of my friends have been a rock upon which I found support during one of the very worst years in my personal memory. The year was such that it's changed me, and not exactly for the better. With the strength of good friends I've been able to see small glimmers of light that otherwise would have gone unseen. But I can't lie in bed with my friends and share with them the deepest fears and problems I have in my heart. Trust I may have in them, but there are things that I have a hard time sharing with even the closest of friends.

In Stephany, however, I find something familiar, but long forgotten. An innate sense of trust and comfort. Someone in whom I see potential for something more lasting. Also, someone in whom I have fear that I might disappoint. Not that I want that fear, but this past year has hurt me; prompted me to expect the worst. As hopeful as I am for what she and I share, I can't help but be as pessimistic as I am optimistic.

If it lasts, it lasts. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Even if longevity isn't with us, I will have such fond feelings for her for years to come. She's become a bright end to a dark year. Her smile is something that warms my heart and calms my mind. Her smile a fire that I am eager to keep ever burning.

Oh yeah...she looks totally sexy in my glasses.


I was getting too serious there for a moment there, wasn't I?

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