Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Day 297: Illegally Parked...

There are people in the can leave their cars on the streets for minutes longer than the a two hour limit and be tagged and ticketed. I've been pulled over for going less than five miles over the limit (only given a warning). I know of neighbors who's cars have been secured, covered, and off the streets, but have been tagged because the cover lifted and it was apparent there was no plate on the car, at that moment in time(shitty but true story).

Why then, has this car been able to continue parking on my street - illegally - and not faced some sort of action? Perhaps it's been given tickets, but it has been there for nearly a week off and on, and not just for a few minute stop, which is illegal anyway.

Day 296: The Fabulous Monkey Man!!!

Shooting the shit with a homie this recent Sunday (at work), I captured him stretching himself out by hanging on a pipe at work. Curiously, I decided to attempt the same thing, only mildly fearful that my fat body self would cause my arms to be ripped out of socket by the weight of the rest of my fattiness.

Of course, the arms-out-of-socket ripping was never an issue in the end, because I couldn't make the vertical jump to the pipe. So I did the next best thing: laid down, cried softly to myself, while cursing my general tendency to overeat, yet overeating at the same time. Funny how food materializes in front of fat kids as if teleported there by a Star Trek food replicator. You can barely have crumbs in the whole house, but a moment of sadness grips you and a pan of brownies appears if by magic.

Day 295: Didn't Work Out So Hot....

Despite my Saturday being filled with fun and adventure, the only couple photos I took were of the grass that morning on my way into work. Not that it was the first day of frost on the ground, it was, however, the first day that I became aware of it, much to my loathing. Worse yet, despite several attempts at snapping a shot where the frost was more evident, I couldn't capture a pic worth a shit. At fault perhaps was my camera, or maybe the fact that it was 5:20am ruining my general concern/attention to detail that was the culprit.

Granted, I don't have the best camera, but has anyone every tried this before? Early frost on the ground, not the glacial frost that will be here before we know it.

Day 294: Dimples

At a family party a couple years ago, I had a few cousins ask me, "what the hell is SG," or "what are SGs?" My initial reaction is to smile, but I most often respond with the phrase, "my remaining addiction to the porn industry."

In reality, SG (Suicide Girls) is so much more than a pornographic site. Sure, the main initial attraction is the naked ladies, but it's quick you realize that the women are far outside of the realm of Playboy's cookie cutter models of yesteryear (Who really likes them anymore anyway?). Stay a bit longer, and opt to pony up the cash to join the site and you'll find a sprawling community of models, members, friends, authors, artists, and more with which you can connect. It's very much a networking site in that respect, and friends can be made on the site. And the vast majority of the site embraces a counter-culture tone, so much in fact that it's a sub-culture in and of itself.

Something that appeals to me is a true adherence to the "judge not, lest ye' be judged" rule. Not that there is a religious tone to the site, but whatever you have going for you is permitted and will not be frowned, unless of course what you bring to the table is in any way hateful, then you'll be shunned.

And believe you me, I've come across a few people on the site who are rather pretentious and rude. They've shown themselves to be quick to hurt someone's feelings and expand their attack when it's brought to their attention that they might be outside the realm of good taste.

This type is few and far between, however, and we'll welcome these people back in a second as long as they're addition to the dialogue is constructive rather than destructive.

Regarding the photo in question: I have many...fetishes. Some are more specific, my intense love of Chuck Taylor All Star's on a woman. Some are more general, such as my love of a woman showing a little cleavage, which is a developing interest as I find myself increasingly attracted to breasts than in the past; not of the gargantuan variety, but I've been more aware of a well-endowed woman.

The fetish in question today, is my love of a good butt dimple. They don't have to be naked to make it apparent, they can be in athletic wear or in a bikini or they're shirt could ride up to expose said dimples. Oddly, on anyone else other than a woman I already am swooning over, it does nothing for me. Take a woman in whom I'm already interested, for example, and I'll mildly obsess over her dimples, assuming she has them :)

Photo in question was pulled from a gallery observed on Suicide Girls, hence my initial thoughts on the site.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Day 293: Bad Mother Shocker!

Not really sure what can be said about this one. It is what it is, and if you don't already know what I mean by the "shocker," you might need to get on Urban Dictionary or axe someone. I will say, however, that the shocker seems really quite unnerving, and I don't see how it could really be that pleasurable. Dual stimulation of both areas might rock someone's boat, but how much can fingers do when in that specific position? Sure they might be able to touch the button, but can they rimulate stimulate the button? Things to wonder....

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Day 292: B-Z-B Cafe...

Much like Hinkley's, the B-Z-B Cafe is a Jackson icon. Often way too early closing times limit the place's exposure, but go in there when they are open and you'll notice they're not hurting even in the slightest. Walk in any one of their open days and you'll find it filled with any number of customers; business people, aging regulars, younger adults (or teens skipping school - I did), and who else knows who you might see. Serving predominately breakfast, but they have a full menu of goods and I fully recommend their hot open-face sandwich. It's nothing truly that special, but it's still damn good.

One of their particularly stellar items you get there is their English muffin toasting bread. Great on sandwiches, or just as toast to sop up your runny eggs. Fry up some good ass bacon (and all us fat kids know just what "good ass" anything is) and eat it all up. Maybe a BLT with that same bread.

Regardless of the food choices, I find comfort in seeing this place still there and doing well; not changing as much as many places might. Maintaining their position as a bastion of the old life once more apparent in Jackson. Hinkley's, Roxy Cafe, Jackson Coney Island, and a few others remain, like B-Z-B, to let us have a taste of what our parents grew up with and loved. Not that all of the above mentioned places were around back in the days of our 'rents, but it's older than I am, so it's ancient in my book.

Day 291: A Spot of Tea?

Nothing special about the mug at all, and the tea within is a cheap Lipton brand, enhanced by a squeeze of honey.

Almost caught up....

Day 290: Guns Don't Kill People...uh-uh...

Jon kills people...with guns.

If you aren't aware of Jon Lajoie, you need to fix that.

Day 289: St Mary's & Mistakes...

Okay, I'm really down on myself for losing track of things. Not that I've really lost complete control, but I've done a piss poor job of staying on top of the project and keeping everything on track. As I type this post, for example, it's supposed to be a reflection of what I took on Friday, but numerically it somehow ends up as the Sunday photo/blog. I've been busting my ass keeping a good count, but I guess when you get nearly three weeks behind and need to rush many of the stories just to catch up.


In short, I posted too many photos somewhere, and in a few cases not from the exact day from which they should have come.

Sort of kills my buzz to talk about St Mary's....

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Day 288: Know the Episode?

Lying in bed the other day - being exceptionally lazy mind you - I got down on some TNG episodes. While I'll always be more a fan of Star Wars than of Star Trek, it doesn't mean I don't enjoy a bit of Roddenberry's creation.

Day 287: Ecclesiastes 5:18

Have you found Jesus? Have you accepted him as your Lord and Savior? Have you welcomed him into your heart and soul? If you haven't, you might need to learn a few things and make things right. Set yourself for the coming times, and choose sides: the mark of the beast or the mark of the Lord. Which will it be? Best get on that....

Finding Jesus, however, isn't as simple as splitting a piece of wood or falling upon the ground. Temples? Holy Books? Meditation? What will lead you to him? Perhaps the more secular? Perhaps places, activities and objects that have very little to no connection whatsoever to the spiritual might better lead you to Jesus. Some people find him him at "rock bottom." Others perhaps might find him on the battlefield. In the face of death, in a smothering depression, at a family gathering; all these places can potentially bring you Jesus, or bring you to spiritual enlightenment.

What about food? Particularly of the tasty, pastry variety? Can the light be found within creams, frostings, and glaze? Can a fitter bring you happiness? Can custard show you the light and the way better than the Gospels?

Sounds preposterous, doesn't it? Maybe it is, maybe it is. Especially if you're talking about Dunkin' Donuts or Krispy Kreme or any other rotgut chain of places.

But one day, should you find yourself in downtown Jackson make your way to Blackstone, to a point a couple blocks north of Wilson School. While not the most savory of areas, there is one place found there that seems to be a Holy Mecca that even the most dastardly of desperadoes won't desecrate. A Jackson establishment that makes all Jacksonians wonder that God hasn't smiled kindly upon us, like an Oasis in the desert.

Within the walls of Hinkly's Bakery you will find warm, encompassing love. You will find peace. You will probably even find Jesus rockin' some bad ass Birkenstocks in the back, giving you a thumbs-up as he indicates the donut you're about to ingest was made by him, for you personally. It's his way of giving you permission to enjoy the small things, which can truly be the best things in life, when you look at it differently. Rule #32....

"Behold, what I have seen to be good and fitting is to eat and drink and find enjoyment in all the toil with which one toils under the sun the few days of his life that God has given him, for this is his lot."

Day 286: Messed Up Posting

*Smacks Head*

What a goon I am. My stupid ass posted the wrong photo/blog out of order. The "Potter's Pub" posting was the 286th posting, and this was the 285th posting. "Stupid ass...."

I was rolling around town the other day, and decided to snap an action pic. Not to mention that I went there (St Mary's School), so it was extra cool.

Day 285: They serve a good...burger.

Now, I only hear they serve a good burger, but I have yet to sample their fare. In all honesty, I'm somewhat curious if indeed they serve a good burger, but not enough to rush my ass over there and mow down. I mean, really, who goes to a Tittie Bar for their food? Maybe for the jugs, but if you're there to drink their milk, you have some issues. Mooo....

What made me snap this pic so early in the morn' - yes, the morning - was that the sign was still on. Either they leave it on, or they forgot to turn it off, and I've certainly never seen it on at this time of the day (around 6:30am).

Who knows....maybe they cater to those on 3rd shift looking for a "view" after a long day's work. Go see some boobs, get a Coney Dog next door, and then onward to bed with thoughts of fake boobies running all through their heads.

Day 284: "The Most Beautiful Thing I've Ever Seen"

No, this isn't an "American Beauty" rip off shot, though within those two bags are two of the most beautiful things ever. I weep to know how exquisite it will be to drink the contents of said bags. You would weep too if you knew, but I'd venture a guess that you've caught on what's in those bags.

It doesn't look at all that funny now, but I planned on grabbing a few more things so I pushed around the midget cart. I felt a bit odd leaning on that and letting it lead the way through the store, especially when I passed an older woman - all of 4'10" mind you - pushing the larger cart around.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Day 283: Even Dawgs Share

Dog sitting for a buddy and his parent's, I had the pleasure of watching over these two beasts. Funny, that they didn't viciously fight over the frisbee, but shared it on the trot back to me.

No, neither actually ran into the bricks.

Day 282: At Least It's Not A Shoe Store

“If you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em!” ~John Waters~

He's got the right idea as far as I'm concerned. I place so much value on people that read, that I don't think I could truly be attracted to a woman that doesn't enjoy reading a good number of books. Not that being an avid consumer of texts is an absolute requirement, but, as a reader, I feel that people that are voracious readers have a tendency to be a bit more knowledgeable, more witty, and have a great depth to their thinking that people that do not read as often.

It hurts me then, to see this: Jackson's last bookstore with it's doors closed for good. Maybe not good, and I suppose it's not Jackson's last book store in town. It was, however, Jackson's last remaining store that dealt only in new books.

Worse yet, I helped in it's closing by buying most of my books on Amazon.

As much as I love walking through a good book store, I was drawn to the cheaper prices of Amazon. Even the Kindle is increasingly becoming a more valued device in my eyes, in spite of my love of the feel of a real book in my hands.


Day 281: Interesting Thoughts...

While I fully intended on sharing why I go crazy at work, and how, exactly, the Poop Palace got it's name, another question was raised by a friend.

Slaving in the bowels of the hospital (no pun intended), I come across sights like these on a regular basis. Sometimes the piles are larger, sometimes they're just smears across a blue pad. Often I question why the samples in question aren't just thrown in the trash rather than the laundry bags.

Of course, if you've caught onto what I'm referring, you might have considered what another person considered: would this violate HIPAA? There is no indication of whose matter it is. In fact, out of hundreds of beds filled in a hospital, there is very little way of telling - at this point of rolling down in the laundry - whose excrement it is, but does that matter as far as HIPAA is concerned? I'm certainly not in the pic, and God knows I could have very well grabbed this off the interwebz, but it still raises the question. I even censored the pic a bit just to feel a bit safer.

Day 280: Pacifiers?

My nephew is a whopping three years old. Too old to be working a pacifier, or "passy?"

Day 279: Gouche on Guard!

Fresh air is too tempting to close the window before it turns bitter cold. But someone might get in and ravage my family, were it not for the efforts of my pooch.

Day 278: What A Good Lookin' Mug!!

Want some of dis? You can't handle the lovin' this guy got!!!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Day 277: Pretty Lights....

Kinda pretty, isn't it?

Not that I've ever been a smoker, mind you, but I enjoy carrying around a lighter. Any ole' lighter isn't good enough, I need a decent beast. Enter the zippo.

Started years ago when I thought they were just visually cool. Some bad-ass mofo would whip one out, snap it open, and almost instantly a tiny, windproof flame would create a minute beacon of light.

Years later, I'd carry one around myself, the bronze being my favorite of the two (and the oldest at a whopping 14 years). Remember, I don't smoke, but it did come in handy when a cute girl (who did smoke) needed a light. Got me a few numbers (though I secretly hoped she'd quit smoking at some point). Even was able to help out a few friends and start a few bonfires with them.

And no, they were not very good at sparking a bong.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Day 276: So Not Cool

Saturday (last Saturday morning) I emptied a laundry bag to find this little prize.


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Day 275: Gotta Get Myself Connected

Yes, Andy's re-entered the world of cellular communication. That's not implying I'm fully immersing myself into technology once again, but the convenience of having a cell phone won me over. Not that I needed a smartphone for that simple convenience, but being able to send text messages yield it's own convenience: why initiate a whole conversation when all I desire is a simple yes or no response?

If you know me even halfway, you know that I'm not a fan of certain green vegetables. Asparagus is obie kaybie, so are peas. Green beans are the bomb diggity in my book. Spinach (not canned) is good.

I could drag the list on for some time, but I think you're understanding well enough which I like and others I might not. One of the most horrible of BROCCOLI!!!! I friggin' hate broccoli. I've tried it on several occasions, to see if I could work through it and not gag, but nope. Gag is in full effect.

Bringing it back to the pic....

The same Friday night I picked up the cell phone, I also went to my favorite Chinese food place in town. Ordering me up some General Tso's chicken, I asked for green beans in place of the broccoli, which they've recently done for me much to my pleasure.

Guess what I discovered later that evening? Just chilling in the corner of my take home food container, there it was. Must have been hidden beneath the meat; something to cooks missed when removing the broccoli from my food as it cooked. Brings to mind the question: what was broccoli even doing with my meat anyway?!?!

Day 274: The Leaves Are Falling

Everyday forward brings with it more and more change. Leaves take on different colors and then fall to the Earth. Temperatures drop and embrace us with a chill that takes the breath away. Soon, snow will cover the ground...

...but until that time, I'll keep my ass in shorts as long as possible.

Hot cocoa and marshmallows. College football. Bon(e)fires. Beautiful girls in pretty sweaters (all the better to peel off near a fire).

Are you ready for it?

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Day 273: Undressing her with my eyes is the least of her worries

Amazing the things you can do with your eyes these days, isn't it? I can undress a girl with my eyes, bump the ugliest of uglies with my eyes, or even cannibalize her with my eyes (just to mentally ensure that I share her with no others). The sky's the limit if you think about it.

So...I have this friend, and we'll call her "Aubrey" for secrecy's sake. Aubrey is quite the awesome woman. She's beautiful in ways that would make any man swoon, or jizz in their pants if you lack control. Head to toe awesome, inside and out. No that I can really say that for absolute certainty; there are certain things that just don't come out 'til you've had a little pillow talk. Though I won't think too much on that or I might lose control and do something in my pants.

I won't go on forever and ever about her, though I could, but I'll move onto the photo in question.

Sitting in class the other day, I was working through an old notebook and stumbled across this lil' memento from Aubrey. Made me go all *sniff, sniff* on the insides. I wonder if she thinks I'm done being creepy yet...

Day 272: Geek Love!

On one side we have "Chewbacca Cheddar Cheese" Pringles, and on the other we have an awesome light up lightsaber sucker. Total Awesome Sauce, if ya' ask me.

And whom can I thank for said, beautiful tasties? Whitney "Is The Bomb" Bryan. Woo Woo ;)

Day 271: Shitty Lil' Saturn

My lil' Saturn has been good to me, but I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy when a better car than mine parks right next to mine. I'm not even a Camaro fan, but damn I was jealous, albeit mildly.

Day 270: False Pretender

Well, the other day I was carting my ass off to work, but was on the verge of death due to allergies. My ass couldn't breathe worth a damn, and I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, HATE breathing through my mouth (exercise being the exception). Not having used any nasal decongestant in some time, I didn't have any on my person, but, unfortunately I didn't have time to run to any pharmacy to get some.

However, I could spare a minute to walk into the hospital gift shop and see if they carried any.

What they carried, however, was this little tampon looking thing you stuck in your nose hole, and take a good sniff of to help alleviate congestion.

What a crock a shit. It sucked more ass than I did trying to secure my 4.0 in a couple classes; and that didn't work either.

Day 269: The Arm Bone's connected to the....

Studying with a friend in Dr Fox's BIO 132 class (the poor soul), I was overcome with a longing for a class like A&P, Micro or Chem.


Day 268: That's Right!! Rob Was GEL-LUSS!!

Truly I wanted to punch this man in the face for being a fruit. I mean, really? Captain Jackson?! What sort of adversity do you find beyond trying to make this little hamlet not look so douchey in the eyes of others? Trying to prove that it's a snazzy place to live? Good luck on all counts.

Not that Jackson really is such an absolutely horrible place to live, but c'mon dude...Captain Jackson?

Which leads me to my next point, that he needs a super villain. And I just so happen to have plotted for some time to be that super villain. Want to know my idea? I don't's s'posed to be a secret. Okay, I'll tell you.

I have this image of a guy in a pin stripe suit, with excessive amounts of pink accents. I'll go around making fun of the abysmal levels of unemployment around Jackson and even hand out pink slips screaming "you're fired" to the masses.

This creation has a name too. This name, which will be spoken of with awe and reverence, and more than a dose of fear, will..........


I'll jump out of the alley way on a cruise night, throw a pink slip at Captain Jackson, cackle diabolically, and say, "Ah HA Captain Jackson! It is I, your nemesis, Papa Pink Slip! Here to let you know that you, like a vast majority of the citizenry of Jackson, are worthless. In short: you're fired! Now, be off you to Michigan Works, in feeble hopes of improving yourself!"

Day 267: Love or Hate Technology?

One on hand, I'm an ardent fan of technology. Communication technology, has brought the world together in ways never thought possible. Letters that would once take days, weeks, or months - depending on the era in which you found yourself - now take a matter of seconds thanks to email. Seeing a distant family members happened rarely due to great distances no longer an issue thanks to trains, planes and automobiles and the speed with which they carry us. Technology can even help take the chill off a cold winter.

In short, there are many things that technology has done for us, but often I wonder if we've become tech junkies; most of us pining for the next "new thing," struggling to pay for it, and then casting it off when the next "new thing" arrives. Technology has also made us impatient, in my opinion. So much of the things, that once required the patience of Job, now allow us to have anything within a shorter matter of time.

Food? Heat up the microwave. Haven't seen Uncle Ernie in a while? Give him a call with video chat. Knuckles hurt from working the washboard? Just pay ABC Warehouse a visit and they'll take care of you.

In this picture, I have my Macbook Pro hooked up to a 32" LCD TV (only 720P *sob*) and Bose speakers. Do I need these things? No, but I do make use of them. Efficient use? Probably not at all, but use nevertheless. Wasting energy? You bet'cha! God Heaven forbid I can't take the heat we have on the horizon. Might have to crank up the AC.

Next on my list? An American Tradition in the form of the 6000 SUX, whose mileage is a mere 5mpg.

Thoughts on technology?

Day 266: Word Nerds

"Word Nerd" is one of the many ways I describe myself. Not that there is anything particularly "nerdy" about words, but for someone who spends a good deal of time learning of not only the meaning and the etymology behind words, but also strives to assimilate them into his every day vernacular there is a bit of nerd factor there. It's a bit more intense, because I take it as a compliment when others are either threatened, confused, humored, and, even in some cases, express feelings of condescension via my mastery of words.

Not that I'm a genius, but I read a good deal, and with it comes an understanding of more words than the average cookie.

Day 265: Cheapest It's Been In Some Time

I could rant for days 'bout the cost of gas, touching on topics of socioeconomic status & politics/economics, but I'm already getting bored thinking about it. Instead, I'll just leave this shot of the cheapest it's been in some time.

Best part? It's even cheaper today than it was in this photo!! YAY!!!

Day 264: Action Photography My Ass

Teenagers on cell phones frighten the hell out of me, so why I thought this would be okay is beyond me. Driving away from JCC's campus the other day, I wanted to capture some of the leaves swirling in the air as I drove; not smart, I know this.

Only taking three shots before finally deciding it was stupid dangerous, I really wasn't able to get a good view of any leaves actually airborne.

Makes me a bit jealous that I can't capture some cool shots like people I know that do this while driving, but I'll leave it to them. That shit is crazy dangerous.