Friday, April 15, 2011

Day 105: You Know You Love It!! Jews & Muslims Exempt...

It should be an interview process when I meat* new people:

"Do you like bacon?"

"No."

"No? Are you Jewish or Muslim or vegetarian?"

"No."

"GET OUT! GET AWAY FROM ME!!! AND NEVER, EVER CROSS MY SIGHTS AGAIN OR THAT TIME WILL END FAR WORSE THAN THIS MEATING HAS!"

By the way, yes, I did write "meet" as "meat" twice now; just to affirm my love of flesh-food (When I say Hillshire, you say....?).

Seriously, I understand people not being fans of certain variety of meats, but bacon? God it tastes so damn good. Bacon is one of those things that crosses my lips and and just tastes so damn good. Nearly equal with Bareman's chocolate milk (nearly, but not quite). When people say they don't care for bacon, it's something that I can't even begin to fathom. The taste overrides any of the horrid conditions suffered by those swine that contributed to baconatory delight. Sorry pigs of the world....you just taste too good to care.

So far, bacon has made everything I've combined it with even better. Chocolate covered bacon? Beautiful tasting enough to make you want to slap yo' mama. Beer battered, deep fried bacon? Nom-to-the-mother-fuckin'-Nom! Bacon wrapped hot dogs? Only thing to make hot dogs better is Coney meat; a travesty to say bacon isn't better than coney meat, but in this case coney meat wins out. Bacon and pancakes/french toast/waffles? Just wonderful....'specially when they're in the syrup. Bacon on sandwiches is damn near essential to living. Hell.....just a piece of bacon by itself is as close to Nirvana as sometimes I care to be. Bareman's chocolate milk and bacon from AA Meat Market is....well....sorta makes me feel like a god. A chubby, well-fed, arteries 'bout to shut down d/t to massive thrombus forming god, but a god nonetheless.

My love of bacon has even made good friends of fellow bacon lovers. Dustin from JCo is my bacon brother. Madeline, also from JCo is my bacon sister. Annay is yet another bacon sister. There are more than a few of you out there, but it's down to those three I think most often of when bacon related foods/news/topics finds it's way across my grease loving gaze.

Bacon is just plain sexy and awesome!

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