Friday, March 4, 2011

Day 63: Does the Pope Shit in the Woods?

Maybe it's just a guy thing. Perhaps it's more than just a guy thing, however, and it's the ruminations of a guy who likes to drop loads that inspired this photo to be taken.

Very simply, the expulsion of feces from our bodies is a mechanical process; the result of food breakdown and the selective absorption of nutrients being excreted via our bungholes (future task: look up the etymology of "bunghole").

Sounds very technical and normal, doesn't it? It's so much more than that however....

Shitting often is the break we need in a tedious and painful work day. It allows us to catch up on texts and voicemails. It provides us with a gem of time in which to read (or write) a book (consider mercy flushing); which to that end they even have a line of books called "Uncle John's Bathroom Readers." I do some good video gaming (via my DS) on the can. Hell, I've even Facebooked on my Macbook...on the can!

Talking on the phone is something that is sometimes done, though not as often. Pooping is a private thing, and I need time and quiet. You also have to worry about wiping when having a phone conversation on the john, but thank God for bluetooth headsets/speakerphones. Though another problem is presented by the inevitable flush, assuming you want your shitting to remain a secret.

Also to be shared at this time, my favorite places to shit:
- I love dropping the kiddies off at the pool at JCC's Potter Center second floor restrooms. Insanely quiet, undisturbed and very little traffic. I've studied in that bathroom before.
- JCC's second floor library restrooms for similar reason.
- The hotel bathrooms of the Tremont Chicago, The Mövenpick in Rome, and the Hyatt Regency in Columbus, Ohio.

Some of the best shits in my life have been at these places, however, situation has to be considered as well.

While still in boyscouts, I went on a backpacking trip down along the Smokey mountains and throughout the whole trip it was shitty against a tree when ya' needed to drop some fertilizer. A similar trip to Canada - canoeing instead of backpacking - had the same pattern of needing a more rugged method for dooking. Had to be careful in those situations that you didn't attract unnecessary attention and made sure you buried it in an area a bit off the beaten paths.

Coming out of the woods, in both cases I used an on site visitors center for bathroom purposes. Not the most comfortable toilets, nor the most clean, but those shits are often remembered and fondly thought of.

It could be said that a person remembers their most intensely satisfying shits in the same way they remember their best pieces of action. Not really the same, and often pooping has a negative, taboo connotation. I maintain that pooping has a more stress relieving effect than most other therapeutic tactics. Orgasmic release is more intense, but also has a greater margin for disappointment. Sad, but true.....not that I'd ever say my best shits were better than my best pieces of ass (funny that I say "ass" and I'm not an anal man).

And as a testament to my love of shitting, a love I know others share even if they deny it, often I find that it becomes a passionate conversation piece; serious even. Not always drawn out, like a topic on religion or politics, but it's funny how just about anyone can be dragged into a conversation concerning pooping.

Another day.....we'll talk about the infamous "j-hook."

1 comment:

  1. And this marks the last of the Chicago pictures used for blog/photo purposes. I had a pic from yesterday, but remembered that I really want to work with the toilet pic.