Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Day 47: What in thee helllllllll?!

Let it be said that the column on the right and in the center are parked within marked parking spaces. The column on the left, however, are not within marked spaces.

This is one of those cases where I'd walk out, see a driver of one of the trapped center cars keying the car on the left, and I'd walk away. Walk away or join in, not completely sure. Hell....I'd even claim "your honoriferous, we was at the movies togedder." Think he'd buy that as an airtight alibi?

I don't even care to listen to an explanation here. I'd just as soon walk my ass back and forth, stabbing tires, breaking mirrors and cutting break lines; all sorts of treacherous and hell bent vandalism. Quite rightly I'd give them one hell of a horrorshow the likes of Alex and his droogies would consider ghastly.

THEN.....I'd find the owners of the cars on the left and being doing all sorts of sinister things to them. Rip out their toe nails, and shove salty french fries in the stumpy digits where their nails once were. Peel their eyelids as far apart as I could without ripping them clean off, and bashing the back of their heads attempting to make their eyes pop right out.

*eyes gleam greedily and with intense erotic bloodlust*

AFTER ALL THAT!!!!!! I would push one eye back in, and torture their loved family members in front of them (all the while recording it so in case they turn away from the carnage, I can cut off their torn eyelid and make the watch it over and over again).

Okay, maybe I wouldn't do all that, but I won't negate the possibility of it happening. More likely than not, I'd punch them in the baby making bits to ensure that they never contribute to a dumber gene pool from which our world already suffers.

In all seriousness, I am very forgiving of many things, but this was a large scale act of stupidity.

1 comment: