Day 98: Ugly, Ain't She?

Meant to post this yesterday, but I was a lazy turd.

She's ugly ain't she? Her name is Melina June, and before you all get in a twist over the fact that I just called her ugly, hear me out.

I make it a point to say all babies are ugly. Not that all are, mind you, but some are ugly. In the case of most, fortunately, they're all very cute lil' creatures. It even amazes you that some people can even claim ownership of such a beautiful spawn from their loins.

That being said.....there are those that are less appealing to the eye. Some are just downright hideous looking. The sort of ugly that would get rejected by Ripley and his "Believe It Or Not" displays. Yeah....they're just that not good looking. Even worse when they're parents give them big names to live up to; a name like "Denzel", for example, or "Halle." How about a girl named "Porscha" and you know she destined to end up resembling a busted ass, rusted out, ole' Buick.

My strategy in calling all babies ugly lies in familiarity of the term. The more often I use it, the less someone might be offended by it. That way....if I actually bust it out to an ugly baby, the parent really has no clue of my true thoughts. To them, I'm just being bogue (sp?) like I am always am.

Mind you, if you have a baby, and I've called it ugly, then you can worry if you want. Anyway....my opinion shouldn't really matter to you; who am I after all? I will give you this piece of advice, however, regarding verbal descriptions of babies.

If anyone ever (upon first sighting of your baby) refers to your baby as "precious," punch them in the damn mouth. That or just feel sorry. Even if your baby is precious, it's not a good thing to be called upon first sighting. Precious is a term used, in my opinion, when people are stopped in their tracks by an ugly baby, and can't think of a complimentary term to use for your baby. It sounds crazy, but it's how I see it.

So......are you now wondering if I really think your baby is ugly? :D